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How to open a grain bag

Can't be that hard, can it?


Max wants to open a 50 lbs bag of malt.

Idea: How to open a grain bag: Try that finicky double thread thingy.

Max: Can't be that hard.

Next idea: Read instructions on 5 different web sites and watch 8 YouTube videos on it.

Max: Who came up with this crap?

Yet another idea: Try with fingers, scissors, knife, teeth, and frayed ends of patience.

Max, slightly annoyed: Open up now! Please?

Final idea: Slash and gnaw at it in a fit of uncontrolled rage.

Max in rage, stabbing the bag with scissors and biting chunks out of it: Die, die, die, and spill your grainy guts! Son of a garbage bag!

Finally, Max calmly explains to Paul: Yes, 20% ABV. I want to push boundaries here. The grain bag is totally destroyed? Yes, so? Can't make an omelette...

Tags: malt

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