Max wants to open a 50 lbs bag of malt.
Idea: How to open a grain bag: Try that finicky double thread thingy.
Max: Can't be that hard.
Next idea: Read instructions on 5 different web sites and watch 8 YouTube videos on it.
Max: Who came up with this crap?
Yet another idea: Try with fingers, scissors, knife, teeth, and frayed ends of patience.
Max, slightly annoyed: Open up now! Please?
Final idea: Slash and gnaw at it in a fit of uncontrolled rage.
Max in rage, stabbing the bag with scissors and biting chunks out of it: Die, die, die, and spill your grainy guts! Son of a garbage bag!
Finally, Max calmly explains to Paul: Yes, 20% ABV. I want to push boundaries here. The grain bag is totally destroyed? Yes, so? Can't make an omelette...